Dear Howard,
Yesterday I was in your Richmond Beach Starbucks #385 at
606 Richmond Beach Road, Shoreline, WA 98177 and I witnessed a crime of assault which disturbed me immensely.Let me change a few names to protect the guilty while I describe what happened.
For several months a Native American fellow has had the nerve to come into your upscale whites-only Starbucks just outside of the exclusive, wealthy white neighborhood of Innis Arden, founded decades ago with a sign reading "Innis Arden -- A Restricted Community." Back then only blue-blood whites could buy a home in Innis Arden. The laws have since changed, but the Innis Arden residents still have the exclusive attitude.
So Mrs. Woodway and her lady friend were sitting at a long table and proudly showing each other pictures of their daughters, while down-and-out looking Injun Cronshaw was sitting at a corner of the same table with his Cadillac parked outside and his Apple computer on the same table.
Apparently Mrs. Woodway did not like sharing the same Starbucks table with a beefy, stocky, middle-aged Indian male who looked like he came in from Skid Row. Mrs. Woodway went over to the barista Hayley and complained that maybe Injun Cronshaw might be photographing her and her white-lady friend and perhaps even capturing secondary images of the photographs of their daughters. So your Starbucks barista Hayley called the Shoreline police, who came right away and assaulted the Injun who was obviously guilty of DWI: _Drinking-coffee _While _Indian.
Before I describe the crime against your Starbucks customer by Shoreline's Finest, let me as a disclaimer state that about twelve years ago I used to see the Injun Cronshaw hanging around in Seattle's Wallingford neighborhood -- before Injun Crownshaw inherited a sizeable fortune. Back then the Injun Cronshaw came one time to a hotel where I was working and he was selling the "Real Change" homeless newspaper. Then a year or two later I encountered the Injun at a Starbucks in the University District, and he told me that his Indian father back in Montana or thereabouts had just died and bequeathed to him a thousand acres of Indian land, worth over a million dollars.
Then yesterday I am sitting in your #385 Starbucks and I see the Shoreline police interrogating the D.W.I Indian outside at a Starbucks table. The Injun is cycling through images on his Apple computer and apparently trying to show the Gestapo that he had not been taking pictures of wealthy white women in their upscale #385 Starbucks. Then the Injun was walking around for a while outside, while a total of six Shoreline police officers gathered around him.
Meanwhile, inside your fancy Starbucks #385, people were whispering to one another the crimes of the D.W.I. Injun. In his Cadillac (you're not going to believe such evil, H.S.) the upstart, does-not-know-his-place Indian had (GASP!) stuffed animals on the back seat.
He had the look and demeanor of a street bum. Apparently the Starbucks message to Indians and street-bums is, if you want to drink coffee while Indian in a Starbucks, go to a Starbucks on the Indian Reservation or in the ghetto -- if you can find a Starbucks there. Do Not expect wealthy white women from Innis Arden or Richmond Beach to share even a longish Starbucks table with you. Howard, maybe you could have signs made for all your upscale Starbucks outlets: NO DOGS OR INDIANS ALLOWED.
I saw and heard the Shoreline police yell at the Starbucks customer for smoking a cigarette within twenty-five feet of the store entrance. But besides the crime of assaulting your Starbucks customer, Howard, the Shoreline wealthy-women-defense-squad did not cite the unfortunate Injun for any crime. Instead, after he had walked around a bit, they led him back to the Starbucks table and then they assaulted the Native American Indian by forcibly slamming him down into a metal Starbucks chair. (Message to down-and-out Indians and other minorities: Thank you for daring to buy coffee at Starbucks; if you dare to come back, you will be arrested and jailed, after we assault you.) They did not arrest the hapless, bewildered Injun yesterday, but they made him sign a paper authorizing his arrest and jailing if he tries to come back to Starbucks #385.