Dear Diarrhea
Last year on New Years Eve I drank way too much beer. I got a terrible hangover and a bad case of diarrhea. I have s*it and vomit all over the house and i am too drunk to clean it. I thought I should tell you all and my Dear Diarrhea about this. This is so very depressing. I may have to commit sewerside. Since my life is over I want to say to everyone in my Dear Diarrhea that drinking is bad and you really should never drink again, not even water.
Prays the Lard
Yes, I agree, you have a serious problem. At your stage involuntary committment to a substance abuse hospital is required.
Too bad you can't control your binging and enjoy beer in moderation as most of us do.
That's certainly a reasonable alternative. If a sewer isn't available for flushing yourself down then you could consider takling a long walk on a short pier. Or try playing russian roulette with all six chambers filled.
Well, if you hold to that promise your problems will alll be over in under 2 weeks.
Well you know it's not nearly so bad if you can position yourself over a toilet, at least in my own experience.
Peace,
Jerry
Well, if the idiot would drink normally, instead of acting like an underage jerk, then he wouldn't have those problems, would he?
Of course, with all of the scummy fascist propaganda, he probably doesn't know any better.
Don't forget, the Germans thought that they were free too, until they looked out the window, and noticed all the foreigners, raping and murdering their families, and setting everything on fire.
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