Dear Diarrhea
Last year on New Years Eve I drank way too much beer. I got a terrible hangover and a bad case of diarrhea. I have shit and vomit all over the house and i am too drunk to clean it. I thought I should tell you all and my Dear Diarrhea about this. This is so very depressing. I may have to commit sewerside. Since my life is over I want to say to everyone in my Dear Diarrhea that drinking is bad and you really should never drink again, not even water.
Prays the Lard