Of Microsoft and "Great" Britain

Lloyd sipped at his dainty little china cup of tea. His flower-ordained umbrella protected his pale flesh from the harsh rays of sunlight that managed to penetrate the thick London fog. The tea soothed his gums as it passed through the gaping holes of missing teeth. Each sip added another layer of yellowing to his few remaining teeth, which grew at all angles. The thick crop of hairs growing from his ears, nose and eyebrows quivered with delight.

What does this have to do with Microsoft? Well, the British have the monopoly on tea. They will complain that Americans wouldn't know a good cup of tea if it bit them in the... what... "arse"? Yes, tea is the trademark of the almighty Great Britain, just as Windows is the trademark of the almighty Great Microsoft.

But, just as everything that is Windows was stolen from any number of other truly innovative companies, everything that is Britain was stolen from any number of other truly innovative (and genuinely cultured) countries.

Tea for example, was stolen from India during the height of British colonialism. And let's not forget the Opium Wars, where the British Empire simply took over the opium trade in the far East. The first drug lords.

The similarities go from the subtle and insidious to the obvious and absurd. Just look at Bill Gates - his pasty white flesh, that inbred look, that smug attitude. If I actually thought it possible for an Englishman to come to the United States and actually be successful in a free market (even if it was through less than moral means), I would suspect the national origins of Mr. Gates. As it is, I just have to accept that he is merely an aberration of our normally highest-quality gene pool.

Where am I going with this? Actually, I forgot. But I will say this: Mr. Gates, you'd better not forget what happened to Britain when they bombed Pearl Harbor.

Reply to
Gactimus
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I'm following you so far...

A stretch, but ok.

This, I do not understand.

And this is just absurd.

Anyways, it would be more apt to compare apples to apples. i.e. the trade corporations (EITC?) to MS, rather than apples to oranges.

Steve

Reply to
Steve Hay

You're just jealous that a geek finally made good...better than everybody else in fact.

Go computer geeks...nicest guys on earth. As long as you know what you're talking about when you call tech support....

Melinda, married to a sweet, intelligent, good-looking computer geek and lovin it...

Reply to
Melinda

On average, I would say that geeks are nicer than most.

But now let's talk about being clueless. My favorite Microsoft joke:

A group of tourists are flying over Seattle in a helicopter when a thick Seattle fog swoops in and blankets everything. The pilot is lost and getting low on fuel when he spots a building poking out of the fog. Relieved, he flies nearby and sees a bunch of office workers inside. He scribbles something on a piece of paper and holds it up. The office workers scribble something back. The pilot nods, waves, and flies off soon finding the airport and a safe landing.

After they land, the passengers, grateful to be alive, go up to the pilot and ask what he write to the office workers. He said, I wrote, "Where am I?". And they wrote back, "You are in a helicopter."

He said I immediately knew that had to be a Microsoft building ful of geeks who gave him an answer that was technically correct and completely useless. That allowed him to orient himself and find the airport.

;-)

-- Email: Usenet-20031220 at spamex.com (11/09/04)

Reply to
Top Spin

Not exactly. Tea was stolen by the British, who brought it to India so they could grow it there and wouldn't have to pay the Chinese monopoly prices for it. (Not that the Brits necessarily objected to

*charging* monopoly prices.)

/Lew

Reply to
Lewis Perin

That sounds an awful lot like Microsoft after all.

Reply to
Derek

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