1. Home
  2. Winemaking Craft Forum
  3. This is funny, right? It has to have a saving grace, and that has to be it.

This is funny, right? It has to have a saving grace, and that has to be it.

So the kids are in bed and its Crushendo racking night. And degassing night. I have obviously bought a whip degasser specially for the occasion. I have been moving bits of equipment into the bathroom all night in between gets the kids down to sleep, and I am all ready. I am totally organised. I even have the scissors that are going to cut the corner of the baggy of chitin sanitised. Oh yeah. My shit is wired so tight, I can actually relax.

So I sanitise the whip degasser, add my sulphite and sorbate to the wine and we're in business....I get my drill and put it over the end of the degasser, and tighten up, righty tighty, righty tighty until it wont go any further. Then I carefully assist the end of the degasser into the wine. It becomes obvious that drills are righty tighty when you are looking into the drill bit hole, not down the shaft, when the entire degasser falls in my wine.

And sinks.

Not good.

Including, of course, the part that has just whacked and clanked against my drill, which, obviously, has the usual grain-deep detritus of life as a drill all over it.

I dash to sanitise my stirring spoon, and try to retreive the degasser.

It is not going to happen.

The degasser actually has a bung built onto it to prevent this exact calamity. Be sure and observe before you use yours that said bung is for a standard glass demijohn, not a wide mouthed better bottle. Slipped right in.

There is now only one solution. I will have to sanitise another carboy as quick as poss and transfer the wine into that, retrieve the degasser then start again. Off to my wine room,.

Out of carboys.

Only one solution now, I dash to the kitchen, grab the carboy I just racked the wine out of (a better bottle, thank god...easy clean) and clean it frantically in the bath, resanitise it, and I am ready to go. Luckily I have racked into a lightweight better bottle, so I can hold the 6 gal carboy just enough to tip it into the funnel I will use to transfer it.

Oh did I say I was strong enough to do that?

As I start, I discover I am exactly one millionth of an ounce less strong than is actually required, and instead of the wine coming out the neck and into the funnel, the angle is just weak enough that the wine comes down the neck, over my completely unsanitised right hand holding the neck of the carboy, and then into the new sanitised vessel.

This is bad.

But not quite as bad as the fact that my right hand is also now slippy and wet with wine, and I lose more grip, and wine is dribbling over my slipping weakening hand all over the floor, causing me nearly to tears.

I manage to bring my knees into play to assist the angle, accomplishing contortions any model for a book on the kama sutra would be proud of. I get the wine transferred.

Obviously, it is nine PM, I have had less than six hours sleep per night because of sick kids the last two nights, and my wife is working her third twelve hour night shift, and I am promised and bound to be out of the bedroom (and en-suite where this occurred, now drenched in corvino) before she gets home at quarter after seven. And have cleaned up after myself.

This is funny, right?

Reply to
snpm
Loading thread data ...

Funny? Maybe after a while.

To me as a retailer it's MAJOR FRUSTRATING. Your story mentions Crushendo & multiple carboys. That spells $$$expense. But apparently you pour thru a funnel to move from one vessel to another rather than use a $5 Syphon rod and hose. Heck even with an (easy to use) Auto Syphon its still under $15.

I've had guys in my store who are making wine on the CHEAP CHEAP and want to BORROW a large funnel. When I tell them I don't own a large funnel, they look at me pretty funny. Some actually buy the $5 syphon rig. One or two have gone looking for a funnel.

It may sound like I'm picking on you, but you should have spent the $5 long ago, Or if you had a siphon rig already, gone to the basement to get it.

Steve

Reply to
Steve

Ah, right. Well of course I had just used my siphon, as I had just performed a rack. Its not the quickest clean, a siphon set up, so I figured the funnel would be easier and quicker. And yes, it is clearly time for the next size up :)

I am not discouraged to see that I am seeing the humor and you are having the frustration. Perhaps that, in the long run, may demonstrate itself to be my REAL saving grace ;)

Reply to
snpm

Yes, I found it humorous.

Just a few comments and, as others, I don't mean to pick on you, just point out some things. You seem overly concerned with sanitation. For instance, if you had a carboy that you had just racked empty, it probably did not need to be sanitized. After all, it had been sitting there soaking in alcohol. Just rinse it and use it. Pouring wine over your hand it no problem assuming you washed your hand when you started. After all most wines, other than kits, have you stick your whole arm down in then to punch the cap down, and you might even stomp the fruit with your feet. (That is not a joke.) You mention cleaning a siphon rig. They are among the easiest to clean. As soon as you use one, before the wine can dry on them, rinse them out. It is now ready to use on the next batch. Again, you just ran alcohol solution through it. All you want is to be sure than any particles do not dry and stick to it. You can use it as many times as you want in a day and never sanitize. Then and the end of all the uses, just pour a little sanitizing solution into the tube and seal it by fitting the loose end onto the loose end of the racking wand so it forms a continuous loop with the solution inside. It will be clean and sanitized next time you need it. Just empty it and rise as you would between uses during your raking.

As far as every thing else that happened -- no matter how you prepare you will never be truly ready. After all "No one expects for the Spanish Inquisition!"

Ray

Reply to
Ray Calvert

Ha ha! All true, all useful.... I am gratified to hear "its not too bad after all." :)

Reply to
snpm

Reply to
Dave Allison

DrinksForum website is not affiliated with any of the manufacturers or service providers discussed here. All logos and trade names are the property of their respective owners.