RNC Convention Schedule
REPUBLICAN NATIONAL COMMITTEE CONVENTION SCHEDULE New York, NY 6:00 PM Opening Prayer led by the Reverend Jerry Falwell6:30 PM Pledge of Allegiance
6:35 PM Burning of Bill of Rights (excluding 2nd Amendment)6:45 PM Salute to the Coalition of the Willing
6:46 PM Seminar #1: Getting Your Kid a Military Deferment7:30 PM First Presidential Beer Bong
7:35 PM Freedom Fries served 7:40 PM EPA Address #1: Mercury: It's What's for Dinner8:00 PM Vote on which country to invade next
8:10 PM Call EMTs to revive Rush Limbaugh8:15 PM John Ashcroft Lecture: The Homos Are After Your Children
8:30 PM Round table discussion on reproductive rights (men only)8:50 PM Seminar #2: Corporations: The Government of the Future
9:00 PM Condi Rice sings "Can't Help Lovin' Dat Man"9:05 PM Second Presidential Beer Bong 9:10 PM EPA Address #2: Trees: The Real Cause of Forest Fires
9:30 PM break for secret meetings 10:00 PM Second Prayer led by Cal Thomas10:15 PM Carl Rove Lecture: Doublespeak Made Simple
10:30 PM Rumsfeld Lecture/Demonstration: How to Squint and Talk Macho Even When You Feel Squishy Inside 10:35 PM Bush demonstration of trademark "deer in headlights" stare10:40 PM John Ashcroft Demonstration: New Mandatory Kevlar Chastity Belt
10:45 PM Clarence Thomas reads list of black Republicans10:46 PM Third Presidential Beer Bong
10:50 PM Seminar #3: Education: A Drain on Our Nation's Economy11:10 PM Hilary Clinton Pinata
11:20 PM John Ashcroft Lecture: Evolutionists: A Dangerous New Cult11:30 PM Call EMTs to revive Rush Limbaugh again
11:35 PM Blame Clinton11:40 PM Laura serves milk and cookies
11:50 PM Closing Prayer led by Jesus Himself12:00 PM Nomination of George W. Bush as Holy Supreme Planetary Overlord
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ noRNC mailing list snipped-for-privacy@mediajumpstart.net=================================the above x-posted as a community service by the .sig-holder below who took extra medication to stop laughing. ================================= (-->>BeTTeR LiVinG Thru BetteR LiVING !!<<----)
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