Becoming Einstein, one drink at a time

under essentially the same subject line; I have 'TinyUrl'ed it for everyone's convenience. I can't wait to show this to my wife ;-)

The Buffalo Theory as told by Cliff Clavin:

One afternoon at Cheers, Cliff Clavin was explaining the Buffalo Theory to his buddy Norm. and here's how it went:

"Well ya see, Norm, it's like this... A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members.

"In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first.

In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers.

Does this theory still hold truth after the alcohol has destroyed the most important parts of the brain for social and communal existence and civilization? Does it lead to the conclusion that ultimately the remaining cells are those essential to life, those cells which tell the person to breathe, eat and sleep?

Would this also lead to the ramification that the remaining cells are strengthened? Or do they perish as they become more active and strained?

Is quickness a good thing? Which cells are fastest? Those of nonsense or those of wisdom? Those of thought or those of the autonomic system? Does self control leave the person as more cells are destroyed?

A quote from Von Karmen's biography;

' "...You must add to your mind," he (Theodore's father) said, "not merely use it, or you will reach a plateau and in the end you will get nowhere." These words came back to me many times, especially in the US, where I have noted some Americans think a facile, quick brain is a sign of greatness. This is a sad confusion of values.' - Theodore Von Karman.

Are all Americans brain dead alcoholics? Surviving on their Autonomic systems? lol, von Karman and his pals were funny chaps, you should read his biography.

Man ... what a downer! I prefer Cliff Clavin's theory myself.

YES!!! I have done a very detailed bio-chemical bi-nomial-expansion analysis, using the thermodynamic-principals of the quantum-theory 'exception-1d', and I'm 99.43% sure of my accuracy (research continues).

My conclusions?: Beer is ... ... good. ;-) ... although I am in the process of investigation fermented milk.

Bill Velek -- remove the "--NO-SPAM--" from my email address

Cool. So if we all get drunk and make the bar a mess, and we persuade the bar staff and the manager to get drunk too, maybe spike their drinks, we can all feel good together as we garble trash and puke and make every incoming sober persons' life miserable. Do you brew your own? Is it strong? If so send me twenty pints please!!

Try very hard not to puke your beer. That would be a terrible waste indeed! (And try especially hard not to puke INTO your beer.)