Coffee Moods...from General Foods

It makes me pay more attention when I realize that marketers are very interested in telling me what my values should be...I am a sucker for Levenger's catalogs though....

Melinda

Today's installment...Cafe Francais.

"The delicate pitter patter of the rain outside is soothing as it gently touches down. You settle into the best seat in the house and you can practically hear the steam rise from your cup. You smile in anticipation of the silky smoothness of Cafe Francais. You sip and just for a few moments your mind takes over and you relax completely."

--crymad

And today's prize goes to the poster who transforms the above into text suitable for a horror novel (e.g. Stephen King) with the fewest changes.

/Lew

The following isn't from me; it's from Mike Petro, who is currently unable to post directly to the NG (speaking of horror!)

The delicate pitter patter of the rain outside is soothing as it gently touches down. You settle into the best seat in the house and you can practically hear the screams rise from your cup. You cringe in anticipation of the chemical harshness of Cafe Francais. You sip and just for a few moments your mind takes over and you vomit completely.

/Lew

"The delicate pitter patter of the rain outside is soothing as it gently touches down. You settle into the best seat in the house and you can practically hear the steam rise from your cup. You smile in anticipation of the silky smoothness of Cafe Francais. You sip and just for a few moments your mind takes over and you realize completely that your life, your family, your friends, your job, everything is nothing but lies you've been forced to swallow, just like the phony tinned instant coffee you swallow now. Well, no more. Tomorrow you buy tea. And a gun. You smile in anticipation.

--crymad

Today's installment...Hazelnut Belgian Cafe.

"The first few stars twinkle flirtatiously. The sun settles in for the night. Now it's your turn. You kick off your shoes and unplug with Hazelnut Belgian Cafe. A rich, creamy coffee accented with a glimmering hint of hazelnut flavor. Sip slowly as you reflect upon the day's accomplishments. Even if all you did was gaze at the stars."

--crymad

Today's installment...Suisse Mocha.

"Every afternoon about the same time, you reach for your favorite mug and prepare to slip away to a spa just for chocolate lovers. You begin with some relaxing aromatherapy and then a long hot dip in a chocolatey whirlpool. Afterwards you're totally recharged and you never had to leave your desk. Drift into a chocolatey daydream and surrender to the deep, dark richness of Suisse Mocha."

--crymad

Today's installment...Cafe Vienna.

"There's a chill in the air. The autumn leaves glow brilliantly against the evening sky. You and a friend stroll casually up the walkway and talk casually about the day's events. You sit on the sofa and laugh quietly over a cup of Cafe Vienna...smooth coffee with a touch of cinnamon flavor."

--crymad

My first reaction is that it lost it for me with "flavor," which reminds us that they don't use The Real Thing and that it's a pretty unnatural concoction.

It's completely natural! It's a petroleum derivative, which is made from plants and animals that lived millions of years ago....

--scott

Today's installment...French Vanilla Cafe.

"How do you unplug? It's the last moment of the day. Almost. You set the mood with a little night music, your favorite 'evening clothes', and a luscious after-dinner drink -- French Vanilla Cafe. The rich, creamy taste gradually washes away the day. Savor a cup of rich, steaming coffee lightened with a touch of vanilla flavor."

--crymad

I wonder why the quotes? Was the copywriter thinking black leather corset or something?

The final installment...Sugar Free, Fat Free, French Vanilla Cafe.

"There's a golden glow that glides on the horizon. It must be dusk. Or is it dawn? Either way, it's time to unplug. You slip into something smooth and let the satisfying flavor of Sugar Free, Fat Free, French Vanilla Cafe wash over you. The richness of steaming coffee lightened with a dash of vanilla flavor always makes the perfect treat."

--crymad

I don't have a subtle palate, and I can taste fake vanilla without effort. When I was volunteering at a zoo and we'd let kids sniff vanilla beans to sniff (product of the rain forest), few kids recognised it as what's in ice cream, unless they were used to the Good Stuff.

Real vanilla has become pretty pricey. A small bottle, enough to make only a few batches of cookies, is $8+. But I'm sticking to it.

(I gave up the international coffees years ago. Maybe it was the "flavor." And way too sweet.)

Yup. There are a bunch of trace flavor compounds in real vanilla. Vanillin is just the foremost and most recognizable.

The production of vanilla from orchids is very weather sensitive and labor intensive. If they have a bad year in mexico or madagascar or any of the other major centers, the price goes way up for a couple years.

Some people like to go to mexico and buy mexican vanilla by the quart. You can do that, and it can be very good, and a really good deal, but make sure you buy from a reputable seller and a reputable brand - sometimes the cheap stuff is cut with coumarin - which smells like vanilla turned up to

Commercially imported mexican vanilla is inspected by the FDA and hasn't been found to be corrupted with coumarin in decades, but in bad years the street vendors in mexico may not be selling the genuine article.

I could believe that it is even less than 80%, depending on the sort of vanilla. For example, Mexican vanilla has a very smooth and buttery flavour, and to some extent that butteriness even overpowers the dominant vanilla note in some batches. Madagascar vanilla is much more sharply flavoured, with a strong bite to it which can also be equally as strong as the main vanilla note.

This may well be the case, but there are a lot of companies that are making vanilla out there, and it's not that difficult a synthesis. I would not be surprised if there were some serious variations in taste between commercial manufactures of vanillin, but I don't want to be the one to find out. Taste-testing vanillin does not sound fun.

For the most part, I think you can get away with the fake stuff in a lot of cases where the vanilla is being used to hide something, but there is no way you can get away with it when the vanilla is one of the primary flavours. If it's being used to hide a bitter flavour in M&Ms, it might be a fine choice, but if it's being used in a chocolate bar with a strong vanilla flavour (like most Cadbury's), it won't be.

Incidentally, there are some vanilla teas out there that are made with fresh beans. The problem is that they don't last very long in storage. I had one from Hong Kong that was quite good but for the life of me I cannot remember the name.

--scott