If you don't find a site like you are looking for, then maybe you can start one. Perhaps a basic one in a spreadsheet format. The first column will list the state. The second will list the city. Third, rest. name. Fourth, the type of restaurant. Fifth, the website. Then you can either have separate columns for approximate price, dress code, etc., etc. or just group all that in one column. I am sure that you can ask this group for BYOB reastaurants and get a lot of responses. I have one that does lunch only. Three adjectives? Charming, quaint, and lovely. Nothing super fancy. Good food...and of course BYOB. (I would suggets BYOGlassware as well.)
NH, Mason, Pickity Place, Lunch only. 5 course set menu,
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Another:
MA, Northampton, Bela's, Vegetarian
Good luck and let us all know. I am located in VT and would love to learn of more BYOB restaurants in the northeast.
Cheers!
Eric