FAQ's

I can post a skit my wife and I did at MardiGras a year or two ago. It's sort of a spoof on a wine tasting.

Jose

That would be GREAT!!!

Someone here had posts years back on "Women are like fine wine" and then another that "Men are like fine wine..."

I forget how they went but it was something like this.

Women are like fine wine, intoxicating and fruity, then with age grow full bodies, flabby, turn to vinegar, and give you a headache.

Then there was a mens...I will not post. Not nice to us...but funny!

Ok, but don't say I didn't warn you! :)

Katie: Good afternoon, and welcome to Drunken Sots - the winery for the rest of us. Today we are tasting our 2003 reserve Pinot Noir, the 2002 Abbot Ridge Syrah, a 2003 Moosetoes Cabernet Sauvignon, and our old vine Zinfandel from 1997.

José: Sounds good. Those are all red wines however. Do you have any whites?

Katie: Are you some kind of bigot? Before Columbus there weren't =anywhites here. What's wrong with red?

José: Nothing... nothing. Actually I like red wine. I'll start with the Pinot Noir.

Katie: No, I said =we= were tasting the Pinot Noir. It's quite nice actually. You can have Coca Cola.

José: Doesn't "we" imply "the two of us"?

Katie: You got me there! Here, have a snort.

José: [swirls glass] Hmmm. Clear complexion. Full nose. Nice legs.

Katie: Why thank you!

José: No - the wine. In the glass. It has nice legs.

Katie: I see. Well, are you going to drink it or just =wish= it down your throat?

José: One must savor the moment. [takes a sip]

Katie: My moments come after the wine, not before.

José: Hints of berry. Mellow but earthy. And I think I can taste truffles.

Katie: You should have brushed your teeth.

José: Yes, truffles. And leather!

Katie: The girls that stomp the grapes - they don't take their shoes off.

José: Light and earthy at the same time. A bold but subdued statement from a Pinot. This really the 2003?

Katie: Let me see [picks up bottle, crosses off date and writes another]. =Now= it's the 2003. Would you like to try the Abbot Ridge Syrah?

José: Yes, I would. Where do the grapes in that wine come from?

Katie: Oh, out back somewhere. [pours glass] 2002 Abbot Ridge Syrah.

José: That came from the same bottle as the Pinot! You sure you didn't make a mistake?

Katie: Let me see. [picks bottle up and takes a swig from it]. Nope, no mistake. You must be getting a little squiffed, that's all. I particularly like to have this wine with eggplant, spinach, broccoli, brussel sprouts.

José: It goes with all those foods?

Katie: Not really, but if I have enough wine I won't taste the brussel sprouts. This wine has been cold pressed and aged in oak for two years. Tell me what you think.

José: [swirls glass, holds it up to the light] It's dark, musty. [tastes it]

Katie: Look, if you want to pay my electric bill you can have all the light you want.

José: No, the wine. It's very heavy for a syrah. There are powerful notes that want to come out, but overall it's very subdued.

Katie: Lay it down for a few years - it will age very well. Wine is timeless. Soon you will forget I sold it to you and won't have anybody to blame when it ruins your dinner. Here. Try the Moosetoes Cabernet Sauvignon.

José: That's the same bottle again.

Katie: You've ever used "Stripe" toothpaste? You squeeze it and it comes out three colors? Well we use the same technology. Just think of us as the Stripe toothpaste of wines. After you drink our wines, you'll need Stripe toothpaste.

José: [swirls glass] Where did they get the name Moosetoes?

Katie: That's what it's made from. Moose toes. Grapes cost too much.

José: [swirls glass, drinks] Now this is what I call a big wine. It's complex, assertive, really demands your attention.

Katie: Like a moose in the road.

José: Like a moose in the road. Nice tannins. This is a wine I can lay down for ten or fifteen years.

Katie: Yeah, I wouldn't want to drink it either.

José: No really. There is a hint of moist soil, coffee grinds, and a deep musk chord. It's the perfect accompaniment for barbecued game with blue cheese and Italian garlic suffused with lentil puree. Of course it will be fifteen years before I ever make that, so it will work out just about right.

Katie: Would you like to finish off with the 1997 old vine Zinfandel?

José: That would be perfect. 1997 was a splendid year for California reds.

Katie: Yes, it was. But I drank it all before you got here, so instead we're tasting a 2005 Pepsi Light. It has a bold effervescence, and although it's not quite as assertive as Coca Cola Classic, it's the perfect accompaniment on a date with somebody you'd just as soon not spend money on.

José: That's most of them.

Katie: Yes, I've heard.

José: Ok, I'll take a case of the Moosetoes, three bottles of the Pinot, and.... oh... let's add a bottle of the Syrah just for good measure.

Katie: Splendid. That will be three dollars and forty five cents. Thank you for visiting Drunken Sots, and do come again!

Both: Drunken Sots - the winery for the rest of us.

===