Dear Paul,
The subject is the 'wine' you will drink, and the 'heart' you have touched.
You sent a message to a public newsgroup on 18/09/2003 which I read and cannot take away from you; nor can I remove the hurt it caused me except through giving you this gift of remembrance and forgiveness.
"In the same manner He also took the cup after supper, saying, "This cup is the new covenant in My blood. This do, as often as you drink it, in remembrance of Me." NKJ 1Cr 11:25
"Therefore I make known to you that no one speaking by the Spirit of God calls Jesus accursed, and no one can say that Jesus is Lord except by the Holy Spirit." 1Cr 12:3
If you curse Jesus, even if you personally think that He is not God's Son, then you are not a Jew but a none-believer; for a true Jew in faith loves their neighbours and will not hurt their hearts. If you are not a Jew in faith (as a Gentile), then you can only come to God through the Saviour for the forgiveness of your sin.
Because you have had a heavy heart you 'have' been given what you wanted most from Him. It is good news for you and something to share with others, not to be hidden away.
Carol T