Wine insult at dinner party - HELP!!!

Opinions please:

I love entertaining. I love cooking for friends and it's fair to say that I'm know in my circle for being a good cook. Also, I am really into wine and everyone also knows that I take wine pretty seriously - making sure that what I serve is a decent bottle.

One couple, my best friend and his gf regularly bring the cheapest, nastiest mini-market plonk to dinner parties or get togethers. It's now becoming a joke - I spend time and a lot of effort cooking for them, sourcing good quality produce and they bless my home with cheap rubbish that I wouldn't even feed my dog.

What should I do? It's got the point that when they bring their own stuff round they EXPECT to drink it even if I've got a nice bottle already opened!!

It find it so insulting but don't know what to do.

HELP!

Reply to
jkcninja
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I'd bet that they don't realize that you feel insulted by their actions and instead, as you say, view it as a humorous difference in tastes, as indeed it is. You have two basic options: one is to take them aside and tell them that you really don't care for the wine that they bring and feel hurt that your feelings are of so little consequence to them that they persist in bringing it. That approach runs the risk of seriously offending them, however, if they honestly like the stuff that they bring and feel that you're criticizing their taste. The second approach is to always make sure that you have another bottle open, open their bottle and allow people to choose which wine to drink. Your friends, if they have any sensitivity at all, will note that you don't drink their wine and will either change what they bring or perhaps enter into a discussion about why you don't like their wine.

Keep in mind that there is no such thing as an absolute measure of wine "quality." Instead, there are many different tastes in wine and one person's favorite wine may be another person's anathema. It is true that some wines are seriously flawed, but even so some people may like them and even prefer them to well-made wines. Additionally, some people subscribe to the idea that anyone who prefers a $10 bottle of wine to an Arbor Mist Strawberry Merlot is a hopeless "wine snob" in desperate need of ridicule and abuse. Hopefully, that isn't your friend and his gf.

Mark Lipton

Reply to
Mark Lipton

I have this happen a lot. I usually very tactfully direct them to a wine store and say something to the effect that..."if you stop at XYZ wine store, the owner Jim is really knowledgable and can probably find you a much better wine for about the same price". If that doesn't work, I usually just tell them that I find their wines offensive and that they makeme sick or give me a headache or both.

Reply to
Bi!!

So thanks for the comments! What I have decided to do is say to them not to bring any wine and only as a gift. Then I am going to serve some Rose from my local vintners as the weather here in London this evening is lovely. Hopefully that will arouse their interest that there is more to life than Gallo. Also, hopefully by refusing their offer to bring wine I'm subtley saying 'your wine choice is no good, I'd rather pay to provide it all myself'

Lets see if that has any effect!

Reply to
jkcninja

oh ...dont invite them anymore lol

Reply to
butterflygirl

  • When I invite friends to my home for dinner, I would *never* serve the wines that they might bring. "I'll put this in the cellar", I tell them. I select the dinner wines.

When I visit a friend for dinner, I always take a bottle of wine with me. Sometimes I take a red and a white. I say, "This is for your cellar."

I would never take a chilled bottle of white wine -- that's like saying, "You can open this now."

earle (grape nut)

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Reply to
Earle Jones

I have been lurking here for sometime but couldn't stay out of this one. First, when I take a bottle of wine to a dinner, I never expect it to be served right then. I figure there is a wine already chilled. I would thank them and maybe be rude and regift it to them on a holiday! I know, I know that wouldn't be right!

Reply to
Granby

Open his bottle for him and make him happy. I can't see a problem with that. Dee Dee

Reply to
Dee Dovey

On "jkcninja" wrote,

If you think he's deliberately insulting you (or making a joke, whatever), he could hardly be offended if you called him on it. Or, as others have suggested, serve good wine and let him drink his own.

If, on the other hand, he doesn't know any better (after all, not everyone knows wine) or doesn't have the money, you should accept it as the gift that it is. Even if you don't drink it (and you don't have to), at least recognise it for the gift that it is.

If he's your best friend, ask him, not us.

Cheers!

Reply to
Anonymous

If your friend is an open-minded person, you might try an educational approach by opening his bottle and one of yours to taste them side by side with food. You might tell him/her that a good meal can be enjoyed even more with a fine wine. Many people who pretend that they "can't taste the difference anyway" can be convinced if they have the opportunity to compare. Of course, a diplomatic way of entering the topic would not be to state that he bought rubbish, but that mini-markets are not a source of fine wine...

Good luck!

Yves

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Reply to
Yves

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